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Hari ini..

Sedih sangat.

This happened early in the morning when I was on my way to send Sara to sekolah agama. Tiba-tiba ternampak sorang ayah dan anak tepi jalan, and i was wondering macam motor rosak atau habis minyak kot. Cakap kat Sara, "eh orang tu kesiannya. Kita bagi tumpang nak?" and I stopped nearby and offering for help. I asked the man, "nak pegi sekolah ke? nak tumpang?" And he replied "haah, sekolah mana?" I said "Sekolah Agama Kampung Rinching kan? Sama la anak saya." And then the girl pun stepped in our car and off we go to school. Masa dalam kereta sempat tanya, kakak darjah berapa. Rupanya dia pun sama kelas dengan Sara. And she recognized Sara. Tapi Sara tak cam dia. Sbbnye dia duduk meja belakang. That's the beginning of the story.

As we reached school, jalan memang becak sikit depan class Sara tu. So after I stopped the car, the girl  get off the car and quickly walk to the classroom. I'd accompanied them walking to the classroom as well. Maybe sebab dia nampak ustazah dah nak masuk kot, so dia nak cepat-cepat. And suddenly she fell down, sbb licin. Tapi dia bangun balik and terus jalan lagi, pijak tempat becak lagi, and fell down lagi. Mmg tak sempat nak capai. I helped her to get up, n masa tu tgk2 baju dia dah kotor kena lumpur. Ya Allah. And she started to burst into tears. Tanya dia "Sakit ke?" dia geleng kepala. Mungkin dia sedih sebab jatuh, n baju kotor sangat. Terus hantar dia masuk dalam kelas. Nampak masa tu sambil dia jalan nak ke meja dia sambil dia menangis. Ya Allah. It really broke my heart tho. I can't bear looking at her like that. I didn't wait long to tell ustazah yang dia jatuh n baju dia kotor. Alhamdulillah, ustazah is such a nice person. Terus dia pergi dkt budak tu and tengok baju dia kotor. Ustazah suruh dia letak beg and bawa dia pegi pejabat, I guess tukar baju la kot. I didn't get to wait. But I managed to see her after she's changed her baju and return to class with ustazah (nampak dari jalan while waiting for the traffic light to turn into green).

I don't know how to describe the feeling. Till now, I can't still move on from the 'incident'. I was glad that I can help her by offering her a ride to school. But, I am at guilt that I was not able to so-called send her properly, or "perfectly". I hope to apologize to her and her father if I have been given a chance to do so. I hope Allah will give me a chance to do so.

And thinking of it, it really break my heart and I feel like I'm having a meltdown.

Ya Allah. Please ease it for that girl.
And for my daughter too.




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