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please

Do you realize that?
At one particular moment, when we relishes, there are people who suffers? 
And the other way round, definitely.

Do you know that?
When some parents irrationally ignoring or idly paying attention to their kids prolly because they are busy with something or someone or..whatsoever, some other fighting their emotions due to the losses of their kids?

Will you regret?
When you lose something or someone that you have taken for granted over something else that has no impact to you at all, in such a good way?

Does it ever come to you?

Does it ever occurred to you?

Have you ever take a second to thoroughly think about it?

Yes, it is one full of emotions post. It's just that, I read a blog of a mother who lost her 10-months-old baby girl (today is the 6th day, if I'm not mistaken) and Allah knows best how hard the burden, the sadness, the whatever emotions she had to face. She had these b-engorgement for few days since her little angle left, and she's asking for other motherly opinion about those matters in KIM (this is where I found out about her). I can't help myself falling into tears in the middle of the night. She still have the courage to blog about her baby four days after the losses which I believe it was indeed extremely a heart break.

Kalau dapat Wafiyyah dengar rasa hati mama sekarang ni mama nak Wafiyyah tau yang mama sayang sangat dengan Wafiyyah tau. Terima kasih sebab jadi anak yang baik untuk mama dan ayah, anak yang penyabar, yang cerdik, yang pemaaf, yang penyayang, yang solehah. Mama minta maaf kalau mama tak jaga Wafiyyah dengan baik selama Wafiyyah tinggal dengan mama. Kalau mama sambil lewa dalam melayan kerenah Wafiyyah, mama minta maaf ye sayang. mama sentiasa mahu yang terbaik untuk anak mama, setiap detik hidup mama mahukan yang terbaik saja buat mu nak. Tapi yang pasti tempat terbaik buat mu adalah disisi Penciptamu yang Agung. Allah lebih sayang kan Wafiyyah lebih dari kasih sayang yang mampu mama dan ayah berikan.

That is painful. A lot!

So.

Why do I bother to blog about her? We are neither a  friend,. nor acquaintance. We are not even connected.
But a mother is always a mother.
I have a strong feeling towards my kid.
I always feel guilty for having to divide the attention for her.
She is always the person I want to see first, hug first and kiss first when we meet.
I always in the rush to return home because of her.

Breastfeeding her for over 2-years make me prioritize her in everything that I do. 
Everything, and over everyone else. 
No harm saying.
She is my one and only kid, for now.
I might be having another. Yes it might be true.
or I might not?
Who knows? 
Allah knows.
I could swallow the pain of giving birth to her.
I could always do that. 

But it's beyond my sane mind to imagine a mother losing her baby.
I can't. I really could not.
I am not strong in hearts, nor in beliefs.
I am not strong enough to carry the burden.
Not me.

So, what now?

Attention to kids in undivided mode.
Prioritize her, over anything else that least matter to her. Anything!
When she is around, my whole world is she! Always belongs to her. I belong to her!

And please. parents out there,

Let alone your whatever ___ that is harmful to your relationship with your kids.
Just, leave them A.L.O.N.E
and cherish E.V.E.R.Y moment you have with your kids.
Please!

We wouldn't know the values of something / someone until we lose it/them.

Sekian.


 

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