Marah sangat harini. I couldnt help it. I wanna scream and write so many unkind word right now on someone's fb status but its not appropriate to do such thing. I know. It will not look nice especially with that I am a lady, a wife and mother, and such.
I need someone to talk to. I need to tell the whole story to someone. I wish. Tapi tak boleh. I am tired of keeping it to myself. Letih. Psycho aku rasa.
Kat sini pun i dont know what to write. I am so depressed i wanna cry.
Knowing my husband, dia mmg sgt gigih, especially with the things yang dia suka. Mcm electronics ni lah. Its his favorite stuff. Its his passion. Berapa kali nak suruh quit tapi tak juga berjaya. Macam masa awal2 dia join benda ni during yesteryears i lah yang paling menyampah sekali. Asal topic ni je mula la nak perang. Benci sangat lah. As time flies, i am sort of getting used to it. Most likely getting used to the situation. Sbb it surely takes up ur time and energy. Lama lama dah malas nak layan rasa tak suka tu, and i begin to accept it unconditionally.
Bila dah start my hubster involved with asc, wsc ni it requires him to travel, a lot. Pegi bengkel la, competition la, etc etc. jauh pulak tu. mmg kami kena tinggal la. Its hard to comprehend at first. Tapi slow2 dah boleh accept. Dah boleh faham. And so sara pun dah faham bila ayah pergi work jauh and mama, i have to handle the kids.
Tapi kesian my husband. These thing that he favor the most has taken its toll on him. Bukan sebab apa yg dia buat, but the person surrounded him itself. Banyak sangat politic and people who simply like to take advantage on others. People like this, mmg wujud and ramai kan? Pastu org lain pulak mcm tak tau apa2 but nak jugak cakap. U crazy? Benda ni yang driving me insane for these past few days. Sometimes i went berserk because of this. Sebab kesian sangat looking at my husband's punya workload padahal he is not supposed to be the one to do the particular task. Patut kerja tu orang lain buat tapi dia yang kena buat sbb the fella did not know and dont bother to ask but the work has to be done. And those fella pulak mmg takde pun rasa guilty ke ape.
Ntah lah i dont know what to say. There's nothing i could do pun. I dont want to act to harm anyone. I am not like that. But this is matters to me and surely i cant easily forgive and forget.
I rest my case.
Skrg ni all hail to my husband and his student je. Kalau menang pun it is solely my husband and his student's effort. No other .
I think i should end this post instantly. It is not nice to curse, i know i know. But i couldnt help it ya allah. This is my only source, after my husband. And this is my 'shoulder to cry on', after my husband.
After all, i miss my hubster. A lot.
Come back soon.
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